Never Sacrifice Your Right to Not Have an Opinion

For days now I’ve had this little thought hanging on at the edge of my mind. Not one dominating my attention, just sitting there, patiently waiting for me to key in on it. It was bad enough that while writing a blog piece to post yesterday, I became completely derailed. So, here I am, a day later than my normal personal deadline to post and finally addressing it.

I shouldn’t be surprised at the thought that’s been there. Next week is the beginning of the end for another August recess – a period when members of the American Congress return home to interact with their constituents, reconnect with their districts, and see the real-world impact of some of the myriad decisions they influence in their work. That recess period Is not a restful time for the elected officials – but it is a bit of a reprieve from the normal scrum on Capitol Hill.

But in the next two weeks the legislators will return – first the Senate and then the House of Representatives a week later – and they’re coming back go a full docket. There are funding packages that need addressed, a Farm Bill to write, and mounds of political mud to fling as the parties begin gearing up for contentious primary elections around the country.

It will be a busy fall. News of the day will move quickly, while the legislative process grinds along slowly. And advocates will be back in front of their representatives, scraping for a bit of attention in the middle of what promise to be some ugly fights. There’s nothing new here. This is the norm. But it also happens to be a time of year when I see many advocates – novice and professional alike – fall prey to an easy temptation: having an opinion…on everything.

I’ll never forget a, relatively recent, trip to DC during a similar time when a federal spending fight was all that anyone would allow themselves to discuss. A government shutdown was imminent. Both major parties were moving to the brink – and all anyone could do was talk about the latest rumors on negotiations, or how one faction or another was taking advantage of the day’s crisis. In nearly every meeting I had that day, a looming government shutdown – that never came to fruition – was all our targets wanted to discuss. (Well, that and how the other side was playing dirty.)

Sure, they wanted to hear our opinion on it – and that’s fine. But we had other business at hand. We had another issue to push forward – unrelated to gossip of the day – and we were on the hook for progress regardless of that other fight. And as often as it can be beneficial to understand the context of current events when you’re advocating, its a short journey to get to a point where participating in the speculation and intrigue can actually harm your ability to make progress on the work you came to do. In short, having and sharing your opinion may be just enough to keep you from advancing your very real cause.

I’ve said in this blog before that studying stoic philosophy has helped me become a better advocate. It’s helped me step away from the partisan gamesmanship and focus more on the art of the possible. But for days now, a stoic quote from Marcus Aurelius has kept tugging on my thoughts and I want you to take it with you today for what it’s worth. I want to remind you: you never have to give up your right to have no opinion.

On that past trip to DC, one observation became painfully obvious – probably because I knew I’d slipped into similar meeting tactics before myself on the other side of the table. As I watched Hill staffer after Hill staffer bring the day’s meeting back around to the hot button issue of the day (and seemingly brush off the concerns of the advocates in front of them), it was clearly the easiest way to take control of the discussion and move it away from the hard issue we were supposed to be discussing and toward something they cared about more.

It was a diversion.

I won’t go so far as to ascribe it to malevolent intent – I think the practitioners were victims of the cycle themselves. They likely wanted to be seen as credible and in-the-know, all while trying to afford us the same feeling. Because it feels good to feel like an insider – and that builds rapport for all those in on the secret.

But from my view, the negative impact on our agenda far outweighed the positive -but highly temporary – feelings of camaraderie we established that day. Because in meeting after meeting, we didn’t get to the meat of our issues. We lost control of the agenda. Not every time, but enough for me to be disappointed with the final outcome of our efforts.

That’s the earliest moment I can remember coaching an advocate on the sentiment behind Marcus Aurelius’ quote above. I told her: it’s perfectly ok for us to not have an opinion. We can even say so respectfully and transition back to our issues. Because we didn’t spend all this time and effort to be here and NOT discuss our issues. They don’t get off that easily.

One of the core principles in stoicism is that we don’t try to control the things not in our control. As advocates, we can’t control the legislative calendar, the 24 hour news cycle, or the latest scandal. We can’t have an informed opinion on every issue because there are too many. But we can own the responsibility of not falling victim to the temptation to be an insider. It’s ok. We don’t have to hold an opinion on everything – let that be someone else’s issue.

And philosophically, that sounds well and good. But how do we put it into practice?

You just be you, and tell them what you’re there to discuss again.

Try something like this on for size: “thank you for sharing that concern about the debt ceiling. I can honestly say I’m not prepared to chat with you about that today. I’m willing to look into it more and get back to you. But today, aside from that really challenging topic, I wanted to talk to you about these other issues because they’re also having a tremendous impact on our district back home.”

That quick deflection doesn’t blow them off. It doesn’t dismiss the issue as unimportant. It does state that you’re willing to do more to get informed on that issue – but that today there’s another agenda item you can’t allow them to miss. And you are fully in your rights, your responsibilities, and your good manners to do it just like that.

It may not seem comfortable. It may not seem as fun. But you should never sacrifice your right to not have an opinion. You never have to fully care about someone else’s issues. And not doing so could just be what keeps your successful advocacy day on track.

So as Congress and more than a few state legislatures get back into the swing of things this fall, I want to challenge you to keep this stoic advice in the back of your mind as well. Avoid the temptation. Don’t have an opinion on everything. If for no other reason than you simply don’t have to. It will make you more survivable in this work. And that means you’ll keep showing up.